I am 36 years old. This is the oldest I have ever been, my PR. Everyday I wake up to a new PR, and it should feel like an achievement but it does not. I want my life to have some purpose, but let's be completely realistic here (completely), life will have the purpose you give to it. And if you don't find the time and don't make the effort to find your purpose, life will pass you by. You'll live through the motions, you will do whatever you have been raised to suppose you should be doing, and you will die. Family and friends will mourn you, then they'll just remember you, and finally you will be forgotten forever when they themselves die. It sound harsh, but let's not be too emotional about this: it is nature.
Till very recently my life purpose has been dictated by my career pathway: I have lived where I had to live to get a job, I have left when I did not have a job anymore, and I have left people behind. It feels very normal to do so when you are young and you have been told that your career will be defining the rest of your life. However, it sounds funny when you put it into words, right? Life = work. This equation is oversimplified, of course. Your life is obviously spiced up by personal development, which includes everything that makes you "happy" and that it does "not feel like work". Such us family, friends, gym, movie marathons... I've decided not to live by that equation anymore.
I'm a scientist. That's my person simplified to just a 3-word sentence. Let's wide it up. I'm a woman and a scientist. It gets interesting. As a scientist I can look at the world from a very scientific perspective (duh), and as a woman I am supposed to look at the world from a very different point of view. I am supposed to be a mother, I am supposed to be a caregiver, I am supposed to be emotional. However, I am supposed to be emotional in a particular way, I should look for affection and be compassionate. There is a conflict inside of me, but this conflict is not real. It has been sociologically inherited from past generations but it is not enforced anymore. And if it is, it is to no real consequence in my environment. I will be punished for stepping out of the line, but it won't be so bad. So my scientific minds tells me I can do whatever I want to change my life and find my purpose. And my woman mind tells me that being a scientist should not be the only thing that defines me.
So I am in a journey of self discovery. Using the scientific method I will determine what I want to be. My new 3-word sentence. It is going to be awesomeballz.
Elvira
